Do Women Have To Work Harder Than Men?

Barely a week goes by without a bit of drama in my life. Whether it’s directly affecting me or my friends, it seems someone is always dissatisfied with one aspect of their life. And nearly everyone I know has an unspoken and unknown depression from time to time, without really knowing why and where the feeling has come from. Most, but not all, are women. But is that really surprising?

The pressure put on us as women, by ourselves and our society to ‘have it all,’ is monumental and actually incredibly unrealistic!

In the 60s and 70s, women fought diligently for our equal rights. The right to be treated the same as a man. But haven’t we forgotten one crucial factor? That we are not like men? We are more emotional, sensitive and generally a more peaceful gender. I am in no way belittling the feat of what those women achieved for us, but I don’t want to be treated like a man, I don’t want to be less emotional or sensitive and I certainly don’t want to feel less of a person for not being like one.

Surely equal rights should mean having the freedom to be who you want, and not to try to fit into some man-shaped mould?

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Fri-Day To Reflect

The week’s been a bit crazy so today I’m taking a day out in the sun, and doing some wedding planning. Because I want to. The pics aren’t amazing; I’m no photographer and this is with my crappy iPhone, but they do show some beautiful sunshine. Have a great Friday everyone 🙂

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The Unmarked Road – The Ugly

When deciding if to continue with something, it is usually because the good outweighs the bad. I still am happier than I have ever been, but to every job, there are aspects you don’t enjoy. In fact to nearly everything in life there are positives as well as negatives.

I’ve done the good. I’ve done the bad. Now here’s for the ugly!

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I’m embarrassed to admit it…

…but I compare myself to everyone else’s stats. I am so ridiculously grateful for ever single like/comment/follow, and I know I am not doing this for any sort of recognition, but checking the stats can lead to some pretty destructive thought patterns. I look to see how long it took someone to get to a certain level, as if it’s going to make me feel better about not achieving the kind of stats that I would consider as successful.

Inevitably one of two things happens.

  1. I am placated as I realise I have raised the bar ridiculously high for myself and am doing fine.
  2. I see someone who has achieved DOUBLE the followers in the same timeframe and I’m plunged into self-doubt.

I have therefore decided to no longer share my stats. This isn’t because I don’t want to continue to share my story, failures and success, I just don’t want this to become about the figures. I don’t want to incite triggers to others either.

If anyone is interested in my stats (although not sure why it would), please feel free to message me directly.

Dani xx

The A-Z Of My Life Experiences

I wrote earlier this week about my intentions with the new section on my site. I’m starting to formulate the different parts that will populate the various pages, but to show you what to expect, here’s an A-Z list of my personal experiences, although it is worth noting that not all have happened to me directly! But you’ll realise that in the coming weeks as I start to public each story.

Alcoholism and Drug Abuse

Bullying

Cutting and other forms of Self Harm

Depression

Eating Disorders

Fear of Failure

General Anxiety Disorder

Health and Nutrition

Intrusive/Obsessive Thoughts and Rumination

Job Dissatisfaction

Knowing Yourself

Loss of Family and Friends

Mood Swings

Nervous Breakdowns

Overdosing and Suicidal Tendencies

Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) Quietening the Mind

Relationships and Love

Social Anxiety

Therapy and Counselling Urges to engage in Harmful Behaviour, such as Dermatillomania/Excoriation Disorder Violence (Domestic) Working from Home

XYZero – Couldn’t think of anything for these pesky three little letters. I attempted at being humorous (putting Zebra for Z) but then realised it wasn’t that funny. 🙂

Thank you for reading! xx

Thanks For Making Me A Fighter

This just came on my playlist and I remember this song being so relevant to me when I was younger. The words still resonate with me so much today that I thought I’d share them with you, but I would also personally like to thank all those who didn’t believe in me. Thank you to those who hurt me for personal gain, who used me, who only saw what they could get from me and to those who lied to me, you made me find the incredible strength within me. To those who mistook my fragility, my sweetness, my shyness and my open heart for weakness, you have no idea what you unleashed in your attempts to put me down, to put me in my place.

[Spoken:]
After all that you put me through,
You think I’d despise you,
But in the end I wanna thank you,
‘Cause you’ve made me that much stronger

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Back To Healthy Eating

Morning all! For the past few weeks my diet has been AWFUL. Too much wine and wayyyy too much sugar (but what would life be like without a little fun eh?)

As you know, I feel that a healthy body helps to maintain a healthy mind, so it is always important to me after a time of gluttonous overeating, to do a bit of a detox and eat clean.

So I have started my morning off with this shake!

Green Smoothie

Ingredients:

  • 1 small Banana 
  • 1/2 Beetroot 
  • 1/2 Celery Stick 
  • 1/2 an Apple
  • Handful of Frozen Cherries
  • Cup of Kale
  • 5 Brazil nuts (to counteract the chemicals in Kale)
  • Tsp Almond Meal
  • Tsp Organic Coconut Oil 
  • Tsp Flaxseed
  • 1/2 Tsp of Spirulina (devils food but super super healthy)

Topped up with Rice Milk to about half way.

Hope you all have a fabulous day!!

Dani xx

My First Guest Post For Inspired4Business!

I cannot tell you guys how excited I am about this. Today my first guest post has been published on a site that has throughout my journey so far has, not just inspired me, but kept me going in times of doubt and uncertainty about the road I am on.

Steve’s background is really diverse and has given him such a different perspective and outlook on life, one not often seen in the business World, that it has made me an avid follower of his blog. To learn more, or if you’re looking for inspiration or are in need of some clarity, I urge you to check out Inspired4Business.

And so my journey on this Unmarked Road continues. The most exciting and rewarding journey I have ever been on.

Thank you for sharing it with me 🙂

Dani xx

Changes To My Site – Dear Dani Launch

Notice anything new and different on my blog? Well if you don’t you’re not visiting my site enough 😉

Seriously though, interested as always on your thoughts to my new page!

Hope you’re all having a great Monday. Dani xx

Asking For Help – Why Do I Find It So Hard?

I really don’t make things easy for myself. Not only do I take on far too much (starting a new business whilst planning a wedding and planning a 3 months travelling excursion as our honeymoon – all in 6 months) I then don’t ask for help! I sometimes have to remind myself that there are two people getting married and that fiancé is perfectly capable of handling some of the less intricate details of our wedding.

But no, I can’t seem to allow that. I must have full control of all that is going on in my life so that I can make sure it’s exactly as I want it. It was the same when I used to work in an office. I would try to complete all tasks by myself instead of delegating them out. That way I knew exactly where I was with what and I couldn’t get blind-sided.

I guess you would call me a control freak? But honestly I’m not! My maid of honour (MOH) is planning my hen-do completely without my input and I’m loving it! I’m completely unstressed about it and am looking forward to it so much! I have 100% trust in her – I guess that’s why I picked her 🙂

So it appears that where I have control, I must have it fully. All or nothing. Well that’s new for me…not! I get over-whelmed by all there is to do and I have no one to blame but myself! Anyone else find they have this problem?