How people behave reflect their issues. How you react reflect yours.
I can have quite a temper and sometimes I get reactive when I feel unfairly criticised or judged. But I also recognise that this is my problem, my responsibility, because it is my insecurity that makes me take something personally. It’s as though what someone has said just amplifies what I already fear to be true. I’m not fighting their criticism, but my own. But when you react negatively to what someone has said, you are projecting your own fears on to them. And that isn’t fair.
When I was little I was so shy, and not like anyone else, so I got bullied. Right up until a few years ago, if anyone tried to boss me about or tell me what to do, I’d overreact quite violently because of the lasting impact of constantly being put down had on me. I took a lot of stuff personally and would fight to defend myself in the way no one else ever had.
It’s taken a long time, and I still don’t always manage it, but I have learned that the best way to react to negative comments is to just ignore them. One persons opinion is just that – an opinion. To take it personally or view at as fact, is to give it power. And when that happens you risk turning the lie into your own truth.