You may have noticed that my blog has gone a bit quiet over the past few days. This is due to me visiting one of my oldest and dearest friends and I am truly having a wonderful time. It’s exactly what Mr J and I have needed and I’m not looking at all forward to going back home!
But in the midst of all the eating, chatting, listening to vinyl records and drinking red wine, there is a nagging voice constantly in my head. A voice that never let’s me truly relax and be in the moment.
I knew my engagement would drop drastically during these few days and I’m ok with that. The panic I feel relates to an irrational fear (the worst kind!) that suddenly I will have to start at the very beginning. That the past 4 weeks of work I’ve put into this blog will suddenly evaporate simply by me not posting, commenting and engaging daily on social media sites and related articles.
I suppose it is a risk we all have to take. I physically cannot be at my computer 24/7, it isn’t healthy and I would be in real danger of losing my objectivity, as well as my clarity on the purposes of this blog.
And yet, here I sit. Writing to all of you. You who have become my confidants. You who understand more than anyone else, the panic, the fear and the anxiety involved in trying to live a life less ordinary. A life not plagued by intrusive thoughts and self-sabotage. To become free, in every sense of the word.