For a long time I did not love myself. And it affected EVERY aspect of my life.
It affected the successes (and mostly failures) of all my relationships – romantic and other – it destroyed my confidence and pretty much made me cower back from life. I simply existed; like a ghost not being part of the living.
When you live in fear of everything you do and the consequences of your existence, you do not truly live.
Every chance of happiness, I destroyed for being undeserving.
I write openly and honestly about my past. You all know this. Some of my family is absolutely terrified for me when they read my blog and watch my videos. I also know lots of people do not agree with the way a publicly display my emotions and some of the horrors of my past.
But they don’t understand what I am doing. They don’t understand that I love myself enough to not live in fear anymore, and that what I am trying to do is show others that they do not need to live in fear either.
That you can be imperfect and still have a bright and exciting future.
Often readers become confused by some of my accounts. They think that these are things I still struggle with today. There are so many blogs out there that act as an online journal. Cries for help and support. That’s ok and it’s great that people are reaching out! I wish I had. But that isn’t me anymore.
While it is true I am still a sufferer of anxiety, I do not write accounts from my past in order to evoke sympathy. I am no longer this person. I LOVE myself and I LOVE my life.
What this site and my videos show, is to show that you NEVER need have be a victim of your circumstance.
I appreciate how hard it is. But I also believe it is easy to sit back and say, “I am this way because of things that happened to me in the past.” You need never accept a life less than amazing, exciting, fulfilling and full of love.
I am not for one minute saying it is easy. It took me 10 years to fight what seemed like the inevitable outcome of my fractured mind. I do not belittle your struggles. Life is hard and mental health is real.
But know this: YOU have a choice. YOU can choose how you deal with whatever life throws at you.
Your life is a direct result of the choices you make about the things that happen to you.
Are you a victim, or are you ready to fight?