How To Take Back Control Of Your Emotions – Part 1

Our perceptions and beliefs can influence how we experience things. However our experiences also shape those perceptions. It’s a kind of ‘chicken and egg’ conundrum. Which came first, and do we have any control over how we feel about the things that happen to us?

I’ve been feeling pretty down over the past month. My life hasn’t changed since then. The weather isn’t better, I haven’t had some breakthrough or massive success, and I still have an amazing fiancé, family and friends. Nothing bad happened to make me sad, just like nothing has happened in the past week to make me feel how I’ve been feeling over the past few days…like one of the luckiest people in the world!

But I know which one is the truth. One ‘state’ was my anxious mind taking control of me, whilst now I have taken that power back.

Doesn’t this prove just how fragile our ‘reality’ really is? If you feel lucky, you are lucky. If you feel depressed, you are depressed. If how we feel is influencing how we experience our lives and therefore our reality, can we change it?

Our state of mind is incredibly powerful, and yet we often give that power to influences outside of ourselves. We say we want someone to make us happy. We blame others when we’re not. We absolve ourselves from responsibility and say things like ‘well if I had what she had I’d be happy too’. Or ‘if that hadn’t happened to me I’d be more successful’. But that’s completely untrue. Feeling resentful will only make you resentful and you will remain resentful no matter how much you achieve. The key to being happy is in your hands, not someone else’s. If you don’t like what you see or how you feel, only you can change it.

To take back the control, you have to stop blaming other people/things/situations for your discontent.

But how? It isn’t easy. It took me nearly 5 years to change the way my emotions controlled my life. I decided I no longer wanted to be a victim of my experiences, of my own mind. To see how I am winning the fight, please see part 2 later on.

Dani xx

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10 thoughts on “How To Take Back Control Of Your Emotions – Part 1

  1. Good topic. Is there such a thing as free will? With our everyday cause and effect, every thought and feeling we have would be due to a previous interaction/thought and feeling. This would mean everything that’s going to happen is already decided so even writing this now is because of everything else i’ve done previously and that too was also because of everything previous to that and so on. Does this also mean that if we are going to change then we were always going to change and so our suffering was always ‘meant to be’ to wake up? I’ve always wondered how we know that anything is real at all if everything we ever experience only appears in our consciousness (or in our heads if we are to believe the sciences). And who is this ‘I’ we refer to when thinking about who we are and what we’re doing? Isn’t this just another mental construct that we’ve thought up?

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    • Thank you for posting and very interesting point :). I personally think we have much more power than we realise, but that is only because I, through my own experience, have been able to ‘change the inevitable’ through sheer determination 🙂 xx

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  2. I totally loved this!
    I truly need to take control of my life again. I just had a conversation with someone recently about how much I hate my life, and I listed everything I hated and why I hated them. It hit me like a bus that I was making active decisions doing the things I hated. Why? It’s silly, really.

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    • Thank you so much for sharing 🙂 I think it’s normal to feel like that, I know I do at times. Learning to focus on the positive helps but it’s always easier said than done! xx

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  7. I am so excited for part two. You know as well of any of us , that when suffering , reading a sentence from another sufferer that says ” I made a decision to stop being a victim of my own experiences and my own mind ” is very promising.
    For me personally that is the most frustartating part of my pure o. I often feel as if I have figured it out , and things are great for a period of time , and then something in my head reminds me of how I have once felt or what crazy thoughts I have had, and I once again fall into the trap of being a victim of my own mind.

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    • Thank you for your enthusiasm and for reading! Yes getting out of your own heads is THE most difficult things sometimes. Part 2 should be out later today 🙂 Take care x

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